Grief is ever present in our life. It is experienced through death, divorce, depression and/or challenges that we face. Sometimes we personally do not experience grief but friends, acquaintances and those we love the most do. Personal experience my whole life has prompted me to share my insights in hopes of helping those that do not know how to “help” or be there for someone in grief.
Life circumstances take us down paths that sometimes we never imagined ourselves on. My sister, Tammy passed away when I was 12 and my husband Mark when I was 36 and 9 months pregnant with our first child. Both huge grief experience in my life.
Of course I changed – you do not walk the same once deep heartache settles into your bones. But my own grief was not the issue – what compounded it was the people in my life that I came in contact with; I knew at a young age they were just scared, too. They did not know what to say to me. Instead of saying “I can’t fix it but I honor where you are and will be here always,” they walked away. I am not sure which of the two were more lonely? My grief or theirs?
No words are ever needed.
A simple hug says I can’t fix it, mend it or even take it away.
It says “I will be here always.”
It says “I validate and honor where you are at right now and what you are going through.”
A hug says Love without any verbal words needed.
The space is already so big yet so small when grief enters one life – whether the grief is for the living and all the experiences the person is going through or whether it is because deep loss has entered a life.
A hug is reaching out; do not be afraid of the simpleness of this gesture.
Do not walk away or ignore someone because you do not know what to say. Embrace them in your life – do not let them go for fear of not saying the right thing. Without saying anything a hug says “I can’t fix it but I honor where you are at right now and I will be here always.
When the person is ready to talk, to share – you will be the one they call on.
